Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

Funny Good Morning Quotes:

Laughter is the best medicine for almost all kinds of bad days. So we are here with the funny quotes that will help get a smile on your face. And isn’t that what we all want? Have a good laugh while reading some funny quotes online.

·         “I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

So why did we put it as a morning funny quote? Cause it was super funny to put it here.

·         “If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.”

We wouldn’t recommend you doing this but he is right. Ever feel like no one wants to know where you are, we give to a guarantee that if you do this they are gonna find you.

·         “Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.”

We all have someone we would love to send this quote but we are not that rude or perhaps can’t cause of some reason. They could be our teacher, boss or someone with power like that so at least we can be happy knowing that others feel the same way about someone else.

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes:

If you want to know what Thanksgiving is really like and not an infomercial, here is the quote for you.

·         Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

Things to do in order to have a great Thanksgiving? Here is some advice;

·         “I love football. I find it an exciting strategic game. It is a great way to avoid conversations with the family at Thanksgiving."

Any hunters in the reading audience? Well here is an inside trick that pros use to hunt down their turkeys.

·         “The last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, BLAM! Everybody at the supermarket just staring.”

Now if you were not equipped to handle thanksgiving before you are now. We do have to tell you that these tactics won't work if you happen to be spending Thanksgiving at your in-laws. As that is a whole another ball game that we will get into more later on in some other article.

Funny Birthday Quotes:

·         “Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened?”

You can make any day into a more festive time if you are willing to make others smile through it. You guys have to admit that a simple old “Happy Birthday” doesn’t hold up to a nice funny quote you can send to your friends and family that is birthday themed.

·         “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.”

Here are some more for you guys, take your pick.

·         “You’ve heard of the three ages of man – birth, childhood, and “the heck happened?”

Funny Graduation Quotes:

Graduation is quite a wonderful time. Getting past the student life and getting into your practical one is a feeling like no other. Now you are truly in the world of adults. And while it may come with a lot of responsibility, who says we can't have a laugh as we go into it?

·         “If at first, you don't succeed, try to hide your astonishment.”

By now you have guessed what we are doing and we hope that you like these sort of graduation quotes.

·         “In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”

·         “I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes – which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.”

·         “You may build a building or hit someone over the head. The choice is yours.”

·         “My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.”

Funny Work Quotes:

Working is not something that we look forward to but hey, that sweet paycheck makes it all worth it in the end. Say whatever you want but for the most part, it is about the struggle of getting enough money to pay the bills, not being late on rent and getting some food in the stomach.

·         "My boss is like a baby, his screams wake me up every other hour."

·         "On Mercury, a day lasts about 1408 hours. Just like Mondays at work.”

·         “A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine takes off two and a day at work cuts off seven to ten hours.”